God.
I sit here tonight and I feel so close yet so far away. I feel like you are yelling at me, yet all I can hear is an echo. Where are you? Why can't I feel your presence? And why can I, yet I can't accept it?
Last night's bible study - was oh so powerful. about the 6 attributes of a heavenly father, what is needed to be a whole child of God. God. I need all of them. I need your affection, your nurturing and I need to accept all of you, and i need you to accept all of me. I need to meet with you, your training, your encouragement. God, I need your journey. Not only od I need it for me, I need to transmit that to my kids. I feel like a complete failure, both as a daughter of Christ, but also as a mother to my children.
As I sit here typing, I feel like all of this is just words. Just words. No actions. Nothing feels real, it feels like I'm going through the motions and it's lame. God. Help me to make this real.
God. I need you to fill my spirit with yours. I need love, humility, gentleness, nurturing and acceptance. God please. Please. Please.
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