My Danika,
Less than 6 short years ago, i held you in my arms for the first time. Your little yes, so full of trust, so willing to completely depend on me for your every need. The time has gone - we laughs, played, sang, dance partied, learned, shopped, giggled, tickled and so much more. You are my girl. You will always be my girl.
I have so much regret over the last 6 years. I complained too much, I wasn't present enough. I am addicted to my phone, my computer and didn't spend those days watching, playing, laughing enough. I expected you to be perfect, and what I didn't realize is .. that you were. That you are. You are perfect. Not in the human sense, but in the Godly sense ... that God made YOU perfect - just as He wants you. And my gosh, baby girl, I couldn't have done any better. And my gosh, baby girl, how I adore you.
I hope that one day when you are old enough to read and see these letters, I can be there. And I hope to God you forgive me for the yelling, for the anger, for the lack of attention I gave you. I hope, I hope, I hope and I pray pray pray that I can change and be a better mommy for you.
Because you deserve more than what I have given you soy ar. You make me so proud, Dani girl, and i hope one day you can say the same of me. I adore everything about you - your independence, your love for others, the kind/gentle heart you have, the empathy you show for others. Your ridiculousness and willingness to break out in a dance party with me at the mall. The list can go on and on, my love ... you are my heart - no matter what, I adore you and am so proud of who you are, what you've become, who you will be. 5 years ago when you turned 1, I boasted about how I couldn't WAIT to see who you'v become. 5 years later, and 5 years down the road, and even 5,10,15+ more - my heart bursts with pride over you.
Tomorrow you start kindergarten. This time last far I was so happy I didn't have to send you off to kindergarten. But here we are now. I am terrified. TERRIFIED. What if you love your teacher more than me? What if something awful happens to you? What if they don't challenge you enough, or push you hard enough, or TOO much? What if ? What if you don't make any friends? What if you make too many friends and get in trouble for talking :)
You are leaving my side, little love, and joining another teacher's hand for the first time in your little life. I am so excited for you. I know you will love it. You will be amazing and wow friends, teachers, coaches and so much more. I hope you love it. I hope you love to learn the way I love to learn. I hope you love your teachers and they love you back. I can't wait to hear how your day goes, I can't wait to be your friend when you can't seem to find any - because sometimes being a little girl stinks and can be lonely.
You are my heart. You are my love. You are my sunshine. And I can't wait to see you soar high to the sky with your success. I love. love. love you. more than any words could ever say. Even though it may seem like I don't, or that i'm angry all the time (because I am, and that's not your fault - ever). I love you to the end of the earth, the depths of the oceans, the stars in the sky.
The world is your oyster, my lovey. Do good. I love you forever .... Mommy <3
